06 March 2007

"I like them rough neck thugged-out guys."

Primo and I have an ongoing joke about our "girlfriends" and "boyfriends". Each evening while cooking dinner we chat in the kitchen, and the conversation goes a little like this:
Me: So I ran into one of my boyfriends today at lunchtime.
Primo: Which one?
Me: Insert name of random cute guy I see on the street. [I often refer to actual people we know, and while I'm pretty sure said actual people don't read this, one can never be too careful. Why spoil the fun? Why embarrass myself more than I already probably am?]
Primo: And what did you do?
Me: [graphic description of things I only do with my husband.]
Primo: Well when I go to the gym tonight, I know my girlfriend will be there, and I'm going to [graphic description of things he only does with his wife].
Then there's lots of laughing and groping and everyone's happy.

There's much more to it, but I'll skip ahead. I ask Primo:
"So are you jealous of my boyfriends, since you know them?"
Primo: No, of course not, because I know I could beat the shit out of them. Don't you want to beat up my girlfriends?
Me: No, not really...
I can see that he's waiting for me to say yes. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

Holy smokes! Is jealousy part of the fun of this game for me or Primo? If I was actually having a relationship outside of my marriage, it probably wouldn't be with any of my chosen "boyfriends", and Primo the hippie Quaker, is not one to beat someone up unless someone threatened his family. Then again, he's a big burly guy, and I wouldn't pick a fight with him if I was one of my suitors. If there were suitors. But there it is. It's great fun to imagine Primo brawling over me.
Silly but true, I still like them rough neck thugged-out guys. I thought I'd had my fill of them. I met Primo, fell in love with him, and for a good six months waited for him to do something shitty to me, like break up with me for no reason; or do something stupid and bad, like get arrested. It never happened. He treated me like a queen and still does, and hopefully I do the same to him. Even sillier is that I like to watch Primo pretend posture like a thug. He's surprisingly good at it.

On Primo's end, I'm his only long-term relationship, so other than his physical preferences, I don't know if he likes bad girls. I don't think he does, and I'm a poor representation of one anyway. But when we play our girlfriend/boyfriend joke, he often asks if I would beat up one of his girlfriends if I saw her on the street. Obviously the reality is that I would not. But I do see the glimmer in his eye when I say, "Oh course, darling, I'd waste the b-yotch who messes with my man."

And once I wished Primo would play role-playing games with me. We already do.

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