17 November 2006

A Letter to James, our "Beloved" Cat

Dear James,
Please believe me when I assure you that Jeddy, the dog, does not give a rat's ass about you. Any lies that your buddy Sal has told you about him are lies. In fact, Sal gets along with him just fine while you're upstairs hiding in our room.

I understand you've been through a lot in your life, but you have a good home here. You're going to have to adapt and get over this. You managed to adapt when we brought Sal home. I know you've lived with dogs before. We wouldn't have adopted Jed if we thought he would hurt you.

Your little passive-aggressive notions have not gone unnoticed and I demand that you cease and desist shitting in our closet, and get over it. Move on. Embrace life with a dog. If you continue this behavior, you will not be permitted in our room any more. You will have to find another pile of laundry to sleep on, most likely downstairs, where the "big, bad" dog lurks. I do not intend this as a threat. It's a promise.

You have two places you can defecate: the self cleaning litter box on the first floor, and the back up litter box in the basement. Use them, not the closet. This will require that you go downstairs. You'll survive.

With much affection,

Parthenia and family

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