21 February 2007

A Hair-Ripping Confession


I'm not as crunchy as I look. If the membership department of the Earth Mama Hippie Society read this, they'd probably ask for my membership card. I don't care. If they heard me complain that I don't like going to Amherst because of all the f^@%ing hippies I'd be in trouble, but not expelled. I said that to at least two people, both of whom have hippie tendencies, one of whom is a fellow Three Dreaded Ladies, and she totally agreed with me. It's really the disingenuous, Highly Unlikely-I Trustafarians that ruin it for me. I'm paraphrasing my fellow Three Dreaded Lady. Her words, not mine. Sometimes I have to go to Amherst, and I suck it up and deal, and it's not so bad.

If you're confused, I make herbal products and soaps and I sell them at the Farmer's Market in Greenfield. Our booth is Three Dreaded Ladies. The other Dreaded Ladies sell handmade clothing and cloth diapers.

As I said, my disdain and scorn for certain hippies in Amherst will not get me kicked out of the Earth Mama Hippie Society. Hippies can be viciously exclusive and scornful. Every hippie can tell you a story of being dissed or snubbed by another group of hippies for obvious and mysterious reasons. There's quite a bit of crunchier-than-thou going around. And since this is a fluff post, I will avoid a sociological observation of hippies.

My membership in the Earth Mama Hippie Society is in jeopardy because for about three years now, I have been going to a day spa in Northampton (another town that bugs the hell out of me, but there's good sushi there.) to have my eyebrows waxed and shaped. (Never mind that the name of the day spa is also the name of two dorms at UMASS, known for the crowd they attracted and the parties. Lots of hippies lived there.) I don't normally shave my legs but about once a year, I go totally Euro on the armpits. I don't even cut or brush my hair. But I do love to have my eyebrows done by a professional. This past appointment I think Ada outdid herself. She accentuated the arch so well, that when I raise my left eyebrow all traces of crunch leave my face and I look totally glamorous, even without makeup. I think I'll take a picture. I know, who cares, they're just eyebrows, and no one notices unless I point it out. Next time you see me, check out my fabulous eyebrows for yourself. They rock.

2 comments:

Meguey said...

It doesn't hurt that you have lovely skin and gorgeous cheak-bones, either. My borws are scarred and wild enough that if I had them 'done' there'd be nothing there and I'd wind up with penciled on brows like my grandmother. However, I'm pretty intense about the nail-polish.

Parthenia said...

Going to the day spa is all about having 15 minutes where I lay on a heated massage table and do nothing but lay there supine and not respond to anyone's call. But Ada is a master and is great about not taking all your eyebrows off. She's all about the natural.