Girlfriend Theology

So God and I have been playing phone tag. A while back She called and said, "Parthenia, I think it's time you addressed that joy/bliss finding thing, and I have just the place for you." Okay, not really. She didn't call me Parthenia. She used my real name. Anyhow, I called back. There's that song in Hair called "Where do I go?", That's pretty much the message I kept leaving on God's answering machine. Well, finally She left a proverbial burning bush in my yard and called me back. She was all, "What? Do I have to hold your hand, too? Jeez! You've gotta find your bliss, not wait for me to hand it to you. And stop seeking the approval of others!"

She told me to get back to work on the game and stop with the anxiety about it. "Easier said than done, God. I've never done this before." I said. She told me to get over it and stop whining. Then we started talking about tattoos. I told her how I was totally hooked on Inked Nation, which is like MySpace for people who like tattoos. She said She wasn't really into the internet thing, but She liked the new work on my tattoo and that if I really wanted a tattoo of a woman having sex with an octopus, I wouldn't go to hell or anything, but I should think about getting it where it's easy to cover. She found the idea amusing. "I think Jeremy would do a great job, and it will be a lifetime exercise in not seeking approval from others when you know what you want to or should do. Not that I, God, think you should get a tattoo of a woman having sex with an octopus. It's your body after all." She said. She gave me a cool suggestion for the other sleeve. A Hokusai courtesan (see picture above) on the upper arm with a Hannya mask underneath, and then the cherry blossoms and waves to match the left forearm. And She liked the idea of the sleeves ending in a bracelet of skulls, oni masks, and cherry blossoms on each forearm. "Remember not to take yourself too seriously." She said. "Otherwise, I'll give you boils or leprosy." I was going to ask Her if She wanted to go to the mall, but thought better of it. I don't have money to go to the mall. Then God said, "We should get together and hang out. Go walking in the woods or something. Bring the kids and the dog." So I think we'll do that on Sunday.

Finally She said She would give me a little divine inspiration if I really needed it, or felt like I needed another little nudge in the right direction of my desired vocation. So on Wednesday I went to the co-op to buy some Silk soy milk, which was on sale (Thank God!) I ran into my friend Carla. I haven't seen her in a year. We got to catching up and talking, and I told her about the midwifery thing and she said something like, "That sounds perfect! You should do it! It's a great program." Then she told me that her neighbor is a midwife and she apprenticed with the midwife who runs the program I want to do, and I should give her a call, because she went through the same program I'm looking at. Cool! Thanks!

On the way back to work, a woman who used to be a midwife who I've met a few times at the Farmer's Market, and whom I've talked about homebirth and midwifery on the occasions I've run into her, got out of her car to say hello and give me a hug. So I asked her to lunch to talk about becoming a midwife. Absolutely! She'd love to talk to me about becoming a midwife. Cool! Yay!

And then on the way out of the Y, I ran into yet another midwife. I only had time to say hello and ask about her family, but I was glad to see she was still in the area. My day was filled with midwife encounters. I took that as a sign. Later that evening I was hit with a brain splitting migraine that a cup of strong tea, 1000 mg of acetaminaphen, and 600 mg of ibuprophen barely touched. I crashed hard at 7:00, hoping to sleep it off before game night. But then Meg called and said there would be no game night due to illness in the Baker house. I wasn't in any condition to play anyway. I put on my pajamas and went back to sleep.

Next time I won't press God so hard for a sign.