Malice: Not just scary dolls

I have been working on Malice, the game formerly about scary dolls. Now it's a game that celebrates the low special effects and high character development horrow movies from the late 60's to the early 80's. Before the obvious thing to be feared could be seamlessly and realistically featured onscreen. I'm thinking of movies like The Omen, The Brood, and The Shining.

I just happened to misplace my handwritten notes from the last time I worked on the game. This has turned out to be a very good thing. I have the bare bones, the pieces I really like, and I've been able to look at the game from a fresh perspective. A few nights ago, we playtested character creation, which is done in character, and in conjunction with establishing a plot. That was really fun. We ended up with the beginning of a story set in the summer of 1972, Michigan, with a cast of four teenagers who witness "Mark" die at a party, from excessive drinking. They call the police and an ambulance (after a lengthly discussion), but when they arrive, Mark's body and any evidence he was ever there are gone. That's about as far as we got. In subsequent scenes, the GM would play Mark--the Malice--of the story. I'm still working on the dice mechanics, and how exactly how to propel the story.

Another fun thing is the character sheet, which looks like a smudgy mimeograph of an Intake Form for therapy, institutionalization, etc. You fill this out in character as well, and talk about who your character is while you create her. The GM acts as a Case Manager to help the dialog along, and players establish which character (a PC) is their character's nemesis. It was all terribly fun, and I look forward to seeing how this story unfolds.

And I should be finishing Tales of the Fisherman's Wife by June, so if you ordered a handbound ashcan, it will arrive as a finished game. Hope it's been worth the wait!

Returning to my crafty roots

We just came back from vacation in New Harbor, Maine, where we go every year. We have a family cottage on the ocean. We spent a week walking around Damariscotta and Wiscassett, checking out Fort William Henry, Fort Edgecomb, and Pemaquid Point Lighthouse. Quick! Go find a US quarter--the Maine one. Look on the tail side. That's Pemaquid Lighthouse. They also have a fisherman's museum, which was very fascinating and inspiring for Tales of the Fisherman's Wife. Being in a fishing village had its own bit of inspiration, too, so much so that I'm just about done with the text. I'm aiming to be done with the text next week.

So I'm taking Tales of the Fisherman's Wife to GenCon as an ashcan. This evening in the shower I decided that perhaps pre-orders might be a good thing. I won't announce it at the Stone Baby Games website just yet. A shower-birthed idea needs time to dry off, but if I do decide on pre-orders, here's a preview of my spiel:

Tales of the Fisherman's Wife is a quick role-playing game for two to four players. The Fisherman is about to leave for the sea. Whenever they part ways, they have a few little ritual. The Fisherman asks his Wife how many nets he's mended, and what his boat is like. The Wife asks the Fisherman how long he will be at sea, and what premonitions he has of his journey. Then the couple exchange six words which they each weave into a quick parable about their own story.

The Fisherman and his Wife go their separate ways. While they are very ordinary people, they both attract all manners of demons and ghosts who try to seduce, serve, devour, possess, or supplant them. In defense, the Fisherman and his Wife attempt to seduce, enslave, steal power, merge, or destroy their preternatural visitors.

The game is set in the Japan of the Ukiyo-e woodblock prints, but is more about the working class consumers of this art. The original inspiration for the game is
the Hokusai print Dream of the Fisherman's Wife. This simple setting--a Japan that exists in art and folklore--offers games themes that can be sensual and erotic, creepy and horrific, or somewhere in between.

Fisherman's Wife is designed to be played in one session, and will appeal to seasoned roleplayers and non-roleplayers alike. It uses a standard deck of playing cards.

The ashcan version of Tales of the Fisherman's Wife will be a miniature hand bound collage book, with handmade paper cover, and full color illustrations throughout(with a few exceptions). No two books will be alike, although the text and pagination will be the same. There will be several versions to choose from:

* Pacific--Full color, illustrated with Ukiyo-e, your choice of mature audience (joyfully and bizarrely graphic erotic images), or general audience (naughty pictures replaced by more full color images of Japanese ghosts and demons).

* Atlantic--Some full color, illustrated with images of life by the sea European style, your choice of mature audiences (naughty images of European Fishermen and their Wives) and general audiences (naughty images replaced by vintage illustrations of sea creatures.)

So you can gift the game to your mama or your lover. All books will be signed and numbered. If you pre-order I can inscribe it for you, too. Price will be somewhere between $[rethinking pricing and can't commit]. I'm still gathering supplies. The dimensions will be somewhere in the park of 5.5" x 7" and 7" x 5", and about 22 pages short. Short game, short text, pretty pictures, pretty handmade book.

Here's how I envision pre-ordering will work. If you pre-order and will be at GenCon, I will give you your book at the Con. If you won't be there, I will likely (realistically) assemble and ship after GenCon. There's a good chance I will offer a less labor intensive (still fully illustrated and in color) version (the "Pacific" series, both adult and general) at GenCon as well, for about $10.

If I don't do pre-orders, and after writing all this, I can't see why I shouldn't, the only thing that won't happen is you won't be able to get a personally inscribed book. Before I got into game design and rpg's, I was (still am) a crafty chick, working mostly with fiber, but dabbling occasionally in collages and bookmaking, among other things. TOFW is the perfect project to combine my love of handmade things (see my hand made banner on the left), and homegrown storytelling.

I'm looking forward to making these books, and I've enjoyed working on TOFW. This week, if my box of handmade paper arrives in the mail, I'll put together two prototypes to see what style book works best.

Which brings me to another shower thought--a reflection on the past year with Steal Away Jordan. Quite a rewarding and character building experience. I'll save it for another time.

Since I don't have a real preview to speak of (and this is really a preview of the preview), here are some of the design elements and resources I will be using to make my books.

Articus Studio Design. I love this place.
Washi paper.
ATC (artist trading cards).
Ukiyo-e Gallery (No copyright laws will not be violated in the making of the book.)
Art credit

Clam produces an enchanted pearl of cinnabar

Last night Meg and I played Tales of the Fisherman's Wife. I have a few mechanical kinks to work out, and as I mentioned before the end is really clunky, but we had fun, and told a hilarious story complete with sex with giant fish and kelp men.

Act 1
The story begins with the Fisherman preparing for his journey. I was the Fisherman, Meg was the Wife. The Fisherman asks "How many nets have you mended and what is the condition of my boat?" Meg draws a Spade (can't remember the number) and says, "Four nets and I have made sure your boat is in tip top shape. And here's your lunch!"

The Wife asks how many days would the Fisherman be gone. I draw a Diamond card. "Two days, and because you have mended so many of my nets, I predict my baskets will overflow with fish."

They leave each other with the following 6 words. To the Wife: "Clam produces an enchanted pearl of cinnabar."

To the Fisherman: "Moon makes a silver necklace for a lady."

[Note: Articles, i.e. "that", "an", and "a" don't count in the 6 words.]

So off the Fisherman goes.

Act II
The Wife tends to their kelp drying business (they sell nori.) I'm playing the demon now. I draw a 10 of Clubs ("Devour"), Meg draws the 5 of Diamonds ("Enslave"). The demon approaches the Wife first as a giant piece of seaweed. They exchange witty barbs back and forth (ex, "I want to have you for dinner"), and when we get to the final card, the kelp demon transforms into a handsome man, and declares that he wants to "devour" the Wife, but not in a food way. I have the high card for Clubs. But Meg as the high card for Diamonds. The first round ends up in a tie. The kelp demon devours the Wife in a conjugal way, and is her slave for the night.

The next day (Scene 2) the kelp demon returns. This time he wants to Possess (Spades) the Wife. The Wife wants to "Steal a Power" (Clubs). Meg wins this round. She is immune to his charms, and at the last minute she steals a shell from his hair and gains the power to summon water creatures. Dejected, the kelp demon turns back into kelp and floats away.

Act III
(Scene 1) I now play the Fisherman, and Meg plays the demon. I draw a Heart (Seduce), and Meg draws a Diamond (Serve). Fisherman discovers a giant golden fish in his net. Immediately he is smitten. He places her in a giant tank and woos her, while she offers to serve him. I win this round, and the Fisherman seduces the fish demon. Yup, while she's still a fish.

(Scene 2)
The demon returns, this time to Possess (Spades). The Fisherman wants to Seduce (Hearts) her again. This time she changes into the form of a woman with glistening scales. Now the demon has 4 chances (4 Scenes) to succeed, since the Fisherman has 4 nets. And in the end, Meg and I both had the high card, but the Ace of Spades is the unbeatable card. When played by the demon it becomes "Supplant", and when played by a human it is "Destroy". So the Fisherman is supplanted. The fish demon controls him outside his body with strings like a marionette. They return home early.

Act IV
The Wife suspects something, and the fish demon knows her brother the kelp demon has been consorting with the Wife. The fish demon was going to try to Enslave the Wife, and the Wife was going to try to Destroy (Ace of Spades) the fish demon. The end game mechanics need some work, so we just fudged it. The Wife tries to save the Fisherman from the clutches of the fish demon by using her new power to summon water creatures. She calls on crabs to try to clip the strings that bind her husband to the fish demon. In the end, the fish demon strikes a bargain with the Wife. If she takes the Fisherman with her back to the sea, she'll call her brother back to become the Wife's lover. The Wife was happy with that, especially when reminded that kelp can grow up to 2 feet a day.

The Fisherman asks his Wife to tell him a story with the 6 words before they part forever. She tells the cautionary tale of how a clam fell in love with a bird, and out of love and from a piece of wood, the clam produced a beautiful pearl of cinnabar. The bird died, the clam died, and that's all the Wife had to say about inter-species love affairs.

The kelp demon returns, the fish demon gets her man, and they all live reasonably happily ever after.

There are a few mechanics I want to change, but as it is, it's playable and definitely fun. It's a short game, and playable with 3 and 4 players. The end game needs the most work. I'm going to take the rules down for a day or two while I make the first round of changes. Chris and I are going to play it tonight and see how it goes.

First Draft! Tales of the Fisherman's Wife

Wow! That was fast. I love it when I have an idea and it just flows to completion. I wrote the rules for Tales of the Fisherman's Wife last night, and even got it from notebook to computer. Print and play it and tell me what you think. The final act is a little loose and needs work, and there are parts where play might be a little clunky, so please give me some feedback. I got rid of the d4's and use cards only for the whole game. D4's are too pointy to play with in bed.

Some feedback questions:
Is play long enough or too long?
How do the cards aid in narration?
What really works? What did you love about it?
What's confusing? What totally doesn't work?
What needs work? What needs explaining?
What would you be sad about if I changed it?
Anything else you'd like to say.

The pdf isn't here any more. The game is almost finished. I'm putting together the books for GenCon. See you then!

Enjoy!

Reminder: Pirates are not funny

Two posts in one day may seem a little excessive, but since I have formally adopted "Pirate Queen" as my self-referential title, I couldn't help but share. Besides, I thought this would be interesting to those who know why someone once called me the Pirate Queen. Some of these folks probably know that I think highwaymen are "cooler", but that's irrelevant. I'm the Pirate Queen. (In rpg's) I didn't quite make it as the Highway Robber Queen, but I kicked ass as the Pirate Queen.

Still, I find the storybook, role playing game, and folk tale pirates quite entertaining, and do so delight in telling their tales, even if when they're horrible. The real life thing is an entirely different creature. One who is NOT funny.

We should be concerned that pirate attacks rose 10% in 2007. Yo ho ho...No thanks.

Even still, I have to ask: What would Abyssinia do?

Mission Statement Mission

In the past couple of years, I have committed a great deal of time and money to playing and designing role playing games. I'm getting to the point where the hobby pays for itself financially and I've received significant personal, social, and creative returns. So for now I'm getting what I put in. It can't hurt to ask occasionally, why make the investment, and to ask when the investment makes a positive impact on one's life.

There's an interesting conversation on Story Games on using cards (vs. dice) in role-playing games. It's prompted me to consider why I decided to write a role playing game, what keeps me interested in designing role playing games, and who is the audience I'm trying to reach with my games. So I'll ask my third question first.

I want to make games that would attract people who aren't Role Playing Gamers, in the traditional or "indie" sense. RPG's can be fun for people who hate TV, people who like board, card, or dice games, storytellers, folksingers. I would like for these people who don't come from an RPG background to bring what they like about story (or game) and play.

I think about how long it took me to actually play a role playing game, from the time I was first interested (elementary school), to when I first bought one (late 20's), to when I actually played one (a few years later). The things that kept me from jumping in when I was a kid were much different from the things that prevented me when I was an adult. As an adult, it was time, money, and stories to be told didn't grab me.

What I did like was the possibility to hang out with friends, not watch tv, and tell stories. I think those are attractive endeavors to more than just Role Players. So I want to make games that tell stories that perhaps you already know (like folk tales and myths), but you tell them at a different angle, with a different conclusion, different middle, or you bring in characters that don't have a great voice in the original telling, but could.

Also, the time thing. With two kids and full time job, my game time is quite limited. I won't rule out making a game that could go on for months or years, but I like the idea of shorter, single or multi-session games, so you get the satisfaction of a conclusion. This is a conversation I need to continue with myself.

Here's why I included the octopus picture: The Octopus Dating Game.

Octopus Falls in Love with You

Utagawa Kunisada.
Floating Bridge of Dreams
(Yume no ukihashi), 1854.

I'm making a game for Chris for two people, inspired by my freaky tattoo thing (so you know what kind of game it will be), called Tales of the Fisherman's Wife: Roleplaying the Floating World.

Set sometime in a fantasy Japan. When the Fisherman leaves for sea, he gives his wife 6 words to weave a story while they are apart. The Wife creates a story from his 6 words (see title of this post for example), which she tells him when he returns.

He rolls the d4 to determine how long he will be gone. 1-4 days. The longer he's gone, the more they miss each other. The more they miss each other, the more graphic her story.

The Wife rolls the d4 to determine how many fish he caught. The more fish, the more leisure they will enjoy. The more leisure they enjoy, the more input the Fisherman gives.

But the Fisherman and his Wife have caught the attention of kami, oni, or otherworldly beings who try to seduce, possess (or supplant), devour, or serve them. While the Fisherman fishes, the "Wife" Player plays the part of the being attached to him, and the Fisherman player plays the being attached to the wife. Players take turns playing out what happens while the lovers are apart and vulnerable to the demons or spirits.

Players must successfully hold off the spirits until the couple is reunited. The Wife's story should incorporate the couple's escapades while they are away.

It uses dice and cards. A short game, no more than an hour. That's what I have so far, what I came up with at work last night. Now I'm going to sleep on it.

Diversion and Almost Famous

I've been in a funk for the past couple of weeks, and then I came across this. This is why I love You Tube.

Also there's a huge photo of me in the local paper today, along with Meg, Emily, and Vincent. They did a whole article about the local role playing game designing and playing scene. I bought six papers!

Play Amistad with Me

Crossposted at Stone Baby Games...

I’m running a session of Steal Away Jordan at JiffyCon this Saturday. I’m trying to decide what the setting will be, and here are some that settings I’m toying with:

An Amistad-esque journey. Not quite sure where it would begin. I’m thinking I could encourage the players to stage a mutiny and go from there. It could be interesting if through most of the game, the subjugators were the stronger soon to be slaves. One of the conflicts might include divisions between the slaves of different villages. (The title of this post does not indicate what setting I've actually chosen.)

That Wikipedia article has several links to other revolts. That could be fun, too. I really want to see a good rebellion. Successful or not, of course.

Seth Ben Ezra was researching a Civil War era game. (Hey Seth! Have you played it yet?) This idea excites me as much as a good slave revolt.

I also want to play Kindred. I could play any of these and still have an unfortunate time traveler.

Folk Story Narratives heavy laden with devils with souls in their mouths, flying slaves, and trickster rabbits.

A more fleshed out version of that 18th century Carolina Rice Plantation I demoed a thousand times at GenCon. This is really the least appealing to me.

Come to JiffyCon and find out for yourself! I’m also running Acts of Evil. Hopefully I’ll be able to get some Murder Ballad Blackjack playtesting in, too. It only takes an hour, folks!

Murder Ballad Blackjack

I've been thinking about this game for months. It finally came to me last night.
It's a short game, the GM is the "Bard". Here's the link to the wiki. Bear with me as I figure out the technology.

Technically you can use any kind of ballad, and long as there are plenty of unanswered questions, contradictions, and conflict. I wouldn't call "Barbara Allen" a murder ballad, but it would work for this game. I'm jonesing to play this with any given version of Tam Lin.

Inspirations

Inspired by Charles Vess' The Book of Ballads, which I read so many times on vacation last year that I almost wore it out; those antique books of English and Spanish folk ballads that I bought on the same vacation; Pentangle; Steeleye Span; Solas; Silly Wizard; Silly Sisters and consequently Maddy Prior and June Tabor; John Renbourn and Jacqui McShee (whom I've seen live twice and are two of my all time favorite shows along with Ravi Shankar); Anne Briggs; my autoharps; Rise Up Singing; Ewan MacColl; murder ballads; Meg's 1001 Nights; my Dog's in the Vineyard character named (Pretty) Polly; the folk tale component of Steal Away Jordan; Sandy Denny and Fairport Convention; bluegrass; and all the other random sources of "Barley Music" I encounter. (Chris calls the folk music I listen to "Barley Music" after "The Wind that Shakes the Barley".)

And, of course, Blackjack!

In the works!

I'm working on a supplement to Steal Away Jordan which will be set in Brazil, where the PC's will attempt to escape to Quilombo de Palmares. It will be the uplifting sequel. But I'm brainstorming another game. This one's a little more fun, horrific, and unnerving, but in the fictional could-never-happen-or-could-it way. Today I started jotting down ideas for Doll: Tales of Love and Horror. I've mentioned it a few times here, I love dolls. And I've had some scary ones in my life. So this game will be a love and horror story to ti-bonanj (or petit bon ange, New Orleans style), the smirking Barbie, the bubbly Kewpie, that lives in our room or toybox, whom we love and fear, and to whom we reveal our deepest darkest secrets. And these dolls love us, keep our confidences, and hold nasty grudges because we are children and treat them like toys and don't give them the respect they deserve.

So each player will create a two characters: a child and a doll. The child has a secret, something she's done or has been done to her. It can be truly horrible, even to adults, or truly horrible as perceived by a child. Stats I'm playing with are secret, age, imagination, and fear (Child's stats). But each player also creates a a doll character, with the stats, love, malice, life, loyalty, and movement. So the players look at the doll characters and each one chooses one as her very own. The person who created the doll, plays that doll to the player's child who chose it. The child confesses the secret to the doll, and so play begins.

I'm trying to go for scary, intimate, and deliciously terrible. At first I wanted it to be pure scary story telling with no allegory of relationships, but I realize that's inevitable. Que sera sera. I want the game to be like children sitting around a camp fire or at a slumber party, telling each other horror stories, trying to out-scare each other, trying to decipher what was real and what was not real in the story.

I have in mind a complimentary project for this game, though. I'm scouring ebay for old dolls in disrepair (like the one you see above. I'm bidding on it, for sure!) to fashion into nightmareish looking dolls for artwork for the finished project.

Anyone want to join me in the Scary Doll Project? Gather your old dolls, and make them evil looking, send me a photo. Here are some examples and inspiration:

Cute Little Threat
Demon Kidz (kinda like Living Dead Dolls) I'm really going for a more subtle, organic look, but I can certainly appreciate a scary doll, as can Bea, my little punk rock/goth chick in training. (She's certainly one of my muses for this game!)
Yikes!
Creepy Dolls!

Joy!

So I had a mostly adequate time at GenCon. That's an understatement. I don't even know where to begin. As I type this, I'm watching Blood Diamond, which is one of the most upbeat and happy movies I've ever seen. That's a just a lie. But Blood Diamond is a fitting place to begin the tale of how I went to GenCon 2007 and had an indescribable time, and sold a bunch of copies of a game about slavery. By the way, the only diamonds I own are in my engagement ring, which is over 100 years old. It was my mother in law's grandmother's ring from Sweden. No more diamonds for us.

I'll start with the commerce aspect. I demoed my ass off at the Forge/IPR booth, which paid off. Steal Away Jordan made people uncomfortable, sometimes pleasantly so, sometimes unpleasantly so, sometimes somewhere in between. I had one couple pretend to get a cell phone call that they had to take. I had another guy tell me that he couldn't relate because, "there never was slavery in Canada." What-evah.. You can read an account of that incident at Alexis' LiveJournal., starting with "GenCon also had downside". But lots more people stayed on the ride, and came out the other side. This account from The Forge is my favorite so far. I sold 40 copies of Steal Away Jordan, and tied Dogs in the Vineyard for third top seller at the IPR/Forge booth. Vincent, you are the awesomest person ever. I just buy good candy, and pay attention.

Then there was the socializing and gaming aspect. After hours I had dinner with people I'd either first met at GenCon, or had met in passing on the internet. Too many to list and include everyone. I played Adventures in the Land of 1000 Kings, Best Friends, Poison'd, and Acts of Evil.

With Land of 1000 Kings, I met John Harper, whom I mentioned on the Stone Baby Games blog. (Oh yeah. It's up and chugging along, by the way.) I also got to know Seth Ben Ezra, who adopted some of my kombucha babies a few months ago. Also there was Matt Wilson, who designed the first rpg I ever played (as an adult), Ben Lehman, and Vincent. Now here's the cool thing about Land of 1000 Kings. You go around the table and basically say nice things about each other and what people say about you are marked as your stats: Brave, Strong, Sharp, Kind, and Beautiful. It was not difficult to find something heartfelt to say about each person there. By the end of the game, I could have added more loving kindness to each person's stats. Warm and mushy feelings abounded, and I got to work through some of my issues with raw tomatoes.

I'm going to skip to Saturday night's game, Poison'd, just for contrast. Now I've started two sessions of this already, and used the same character (Abyssinia de Cortez, daughter of a Barbary pirate), more or less. I recycled her for a third time, and am so happy I did, because I finally got to tell her story, and then some. So in this game there was Matt, John, and Vincent from last night, and Rich Harper, whom I'd met earlier in the day, and who has some of the most beautiful tattoos--and a dragony fishy sleeve, no less. While we didn't say very kind or flattering things about each other, we certainly got to know each other by the end of the session. It was one of the most intimate gaming experiences I've ever had and one of the most violent and brutal stories I've ever been in on. It was beautiful and disturbing and mind-blowing. We played themes of sexuality, power, gender, and violence. One of my favorite story lines was about the young pirate who tried to do all the nasty acts that the older ones did, but either we stood in his way, or just plain condemned him when he did it. Sorry, no actual play accounts here. I'm still sorta working through it. We played like a tight chamber ensemble, and we didn't need to look at the music. Ever.

In contrast to the Poison'd game, there was Best Friends, with John Kim, Marc Majcher, John (who gave me the fantastic list of Ghanan names, and whose last name escapes me at the moment), Gregor Hutton, and Emily. I've been wanting to play a full game ever since I had to leave the session at JiffyCon when Ingrid stuck a bead in her nose. This one was just absurdly hilarious. I have not laughed that hard and for that long in a while.

The ride home was fun, too. I dozed off and on, chatted with the van mates, reveled in the joy of sour cherries and homemade fudge, snuggled with Joshua, and missed Bea, Ingrid, and Chris. When I got home, Ingrid and Bea had grown up into young ladies, Chris was handsomer than when I had left, the cats were still fat, the house still messy, and I think my frogs are mating again. Ingrid did not wean as I had hoped, but we're working on it. We're substituting the marathon nursing sessions with stories about Razzle Dazzle the Chicken. A desperate mother's imagination will go to odd places if it's late enough and her breasts are on fire.

I'm leaving out a lot, I know, like how I lost my Dungeons and Dragons virginity. It'll all come back to me eventually. Stay tuned.

There's a Game in There Somewhere

I have this book on Nine Star Ki called The Ki: An Ancient Oracle for Modern Times. There are all these diagrams and worksheets to help you figure your Basic (aka Personal), Control (aka Character), and Tendency (aka Energetic) Numbers. Said worksheets remind me of character sheets! And the wheels start churning. Nine numbers, ten-sided dice (roll a 10, roll again). Flipping through the book, I just noticed there are actually "game sheets" where you figure out your relationship with other players--I mean relations, like family members, co-workers, lovers.

I've also been thinking about a game where time and characters shift in all directions according to the roll of the dice. Characters shift from player to player, time moves forward, backward, up and down. The whole premise is that there are endless points of view in one experience. After GenCon, I'll try to figure out a way to put Nine Star Ki and time and character shifting together to make another game.

JiffyFlux

How quickly can a stomach virus run across a street and back again? Apparently, pretty damn quick. Ingrid puked on Thursday, Meg was sick on Thursday (but didn't puke). Vincent puked on Friday. It was my turn on Saturday.

Friday night, I stayed up till the sun rose making product and labels. I got two hours sleep. I made decent money, sold a fair amount of things. But around 11 am, something felt wrong. I wasn't just tired, I felt off. I thought maybe I was overheated. It was about 90 degrees, and I had been sitting in the sun. I drank some water. That didn't help. Later, I put a cold compress on my neck. That helped the nausea. Yeah. Nausea. By 12:30 I knew something bad was coming. I asked Julie, one of my booth mates if she didn't mind taking the tent down herself. She didn't. I looked pretty bad. I went home. I laid down. 20 minutes later I called Joshua, and told him I didn't think I would make it to JiffyCon. Then I puked. The last thing I'd eaten, besides a couple of cookies was a cherry ice pop. I'll let you draw your own conclusions. For the rest of the day, I was so sick I could barely move. Today I felt much better, but still a little weak. I couldn't stand up for long periods of time.

I'm bummed I missed JiffyCon. I had a really cool playtest for Steal Away Jordan in mind. I heard JiffyCon was a blast of course. There's next time.

Update!
So Meg reports that she did not have the flux. I guess I wanted someone to share in my misery. That's okay, I had a relapse on Monday, so I had it for her. I'm still a little queasy, still a little weak, and not all affected systems have returned to normal function yet.

I'd be more graphic about the whole thing, for the sake of scientific inquiry, but I think the 2 or 3 people who actually read this might read during their lunch hour, and I don't want to discourage reading.

Let's just say...let's not say anything other than that I was wicked sick.

Playtest Me!

**Playtesting is over! Buy a copy!**

Last night I put the finishing touches on the rules draft of Steal Away Jordan. You can download the .pdf and the ugly character sheet here, on the condition that you playtest it and send me constructive feedback.

I've been going back and forth on the name. It's supposed to be the title of a spiritual, but it's actually the combined titles of two spirituals: "Get Away Jordan" and "Steal Away to Jesus." Jordan refers to the Ohio River. Cross over Jordan and you're in free territory. "Steal Away Jordan" just sounds good, though, and who's to say there isn't a song by that name?

Thanks in advance to all those nice playtesters who send constructive feedback.
Please leave a comment here if you download something.

Update!
The first playtest report!
The characters of the first playtest!

"I like them rough neck thugged-out guys."

Primo and I have an ongoing joke about our "girlfriends" and "boyfriends". Each evening while cooking dinner we chat in the kitchen, and the conversation goes a little like this:
Me: So I ran into one of my boyfriends today at lunchtime.
Primo: Which one?
Me: Insert name of random cute guy I see on the street. [I often refer to actual people we know, and while I'm pretty sure said actual people don't read this, one can never be too careful. Why spoil the fun? Why embarrass myself more than I already probably am?]
Primo: And what did you do?
Me: [graphic description of things I only do with my husband.]
Primo: Well when I go to the gym tonight, I know my girlfriend will be there, and I'm going to [graphic description of things he only does with his wife].
Then there's lots of laughing and groping and everyone's happy.

There's much more to it, but I'll skip ahead. I ask Primo:
"So are you jealous of my boyfriends, since you know them?"
Primo: No, of course not, because I know I could beat the shit out of them. Don't you want to beat up my girlfriends?
Me: No, not really...
I can see that he's waiting for me to say yes. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

Holy smokes! Is jealousy part of the fun of this game for me or Primo? If I was actually having a relationship outside of my marriage, it probably wouldn't be with any of my chosen "boyfriends", and Primo the hippie Quaker, is not one to beat someone up unless someone threatened his family. Then again, he's a big burly guy, and I wouldn't pick a fight with him if I was one of my suitors. If there were suitors. But there it is. It's great fun to imagine Primo brawling over me.
Silly but true, I still like them rough neck thugged-out guys. I thought I'd had my fill of them. I met Primo, fell in love with him, and for a good six months waited for him to do something shitty to me, like break up with me for no reason; or do something stupid and bad, like get arrested. It never happened. He treated me like a queen and still does, and hopefully I do the same to him. Even sillier is that I like to watch Primo pretend posture like a thug. He's surprisingly good at it.

On Primo's end, I'm his only long-term relationship, so other than his physical preferences, I don't know if he likes bad girls. I don't think he does, and I'm a poor representation of one anyway. But when we play our girlfriend/boyfriend joke, he often asks if I would beat up one of his girlfriends if I saw her on the street. Obviously the reality is that I would not. But I do see the glimmer in his eye when I say, "Oh course, darling, I'd waste the b-yotch who messes with my man."

And once I wished Primo would play role-playing games with me. We already do.

Not Your Psychic Friend, but You Can Ask Me About Sex

...and I won't mince words or lie.

Last month I was asked to be the fortune teller at a Mardi Gras party at church. I agreed with reluctance. My hesitation stemmed from my decision to scale back my participation and attendance to church to near nil this year. After thinking about it, I started wondering why they asked me to be the fortune teller. Was I being typecast? And if so, what type were they casting? That's really a discussion for another time. Bottom line, I agreed to do something I didn't want to do, but I needed to follow through because I agreed to do it regardless of my reluctance to do it. Later I grew even more reluctant because volunteers were asked to pay $15 admission like everyone else. So not only did I agree to do something I didn't really want to do, but I was to pay to do it. And deep down, I knew I could have a good time if I just sucked it up and stopped being a party pooper.

Last night was the Mardi Gras party. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I ate dinner before I left, sneaked in and didn't pay, sneaked only a piece of chocolate cake (which someone paid for me), and played my part with feeling and enthusiasm until the very last moment.

I never realized that playing a fortune teller could be so draining. When I was in high school, I used to read Tarot cards and palms for friends. I stopped doing it when I was recently dropped out of college, living with my parents (who for a time thought I was into dark Satany stuff, which I wasn't, but I'd read some Crowley. Ooh Ahh...), and my decks started disappearing. Now I still collect tarot decks, but rarely ever pick them up and do a reading, even for myself. And I still have one surviving tarot deck from my alleged devil worship days. I brought that one, thinking my most recent acquisition, the Manara Erotic Tarot, wasn't family friendly. It was a good choice. I am reluctant to admit when I get those touches of "knowing", but I have to say, those cards felt like talking with long lost friends. Long lost friends made of paper who speak in your head, nonetheless.

So the first few readings went fine, and people marvelled at how accurate I was. Wow. I wasn't even trying to be accurate. I was just reading the cards and reading the people. Over the course of the evening I probably read about 12 people. I made stuff up when I read for children. I could tell some people wanted cold readings, and wanted me to reveal something amazing, nevermind that I'm sitting on pillows in a church basement doing 3-5 minute readings for 50 cents. In that setting, it's hard to pull amazing out of your ass. But I really wanted to give them something real and honest. So I did my best, and remained mysteriously vague when I had to read 100% cold. I had two people who had something going on mentally. One guy had been in a horrible car accident and had gross and fine motor issues, short term memory loss. His cards were a little creepy, but I found something positive and encouraging to say and he was happy. They were all happy, even when it was clear I was pulling things out of the air (or my ass).

I don't understand the whole "read my fortune" thing as entertainment. Slight of hand card tricks are fun. Asking a total stranger to look you in the eye and tell you what they see is not my idea of fun. Reading for friends should be an intimate, private thing, and the basement of a church, no matter how gussied up they make it (and it was nice), just isn't a comfortable setting for me. Especially with 150 people walking around, music blaring, people drinking and partying. etc. In hindsight, I think there are other reasons why I stopped reading cards besides having my parents' eye of suspicion cast on me (they were fine with the cards when I was in high school, by the way.) I remember that emotional drain.


Somewhat more fun, but still harrowing and a little anxiety inducing is having a seven year old ask you what a condom is, and being who you are, feeling that full disclosure is the only way to go. That was the real excitement of my day. Before I put on my fortune teller hat, I took Bea grocery shopping with me, and made a pitstop to Jeremy's to drop off some pictures for him to work on designing the rest of my sleeve. He keeps a colorful basket of condoms and needle sterilizing kits at the top of the stairs. Naturally it caught Bea's eye. "What's this stuff?" She asked.
"I'll tell you in the car", I said, and took a condom.

We had a frank conversation in the car about sex and Sexually Transmitted Infections and condoms, and all that stuff that parents allegedly freak out about when they talk about it. Not Parthenia! I've had this conversation with Bea before, at a younger age, when she was more interested in where babies come from but didn't care to know about the whole sex act and where things go, or the emotional implications of it, or how good it feels. I've had this conversation with college students when I was in college and took my job as a Health Services Representative very seriously, and they wanted to know more than I could describe without firsthand knowledge. So I was ready. And I had a rare moment of feeling like an effective, savvy parent. I didn't even feel this successful when she finally potty trained. She asked, I answered. And when I continued to talk, she still listened. She asked questions, she told me what she knew. No word mincing, and she was interested. We stopped by World Eye Books and picked up It's Perfectly Normal. I got myself the newest edition of Our Bodies, Ourselves. I've now owned every single edition, including the one that came out the year I was born (thank God for that book when I was in junior high and high school.) Bea was mad that I wouldn't buy her a stuffed animal, but when I handed her the book, she stopped complaining and jumped right in.

I'm even happier to know that the book I chose to help Bea learn about human sexuality really gets Concerned Women of America's panties in a wad.

I'm Not Mean. Are you?

Audience participation, please!

Each Wednesday night I go to Meg and Vincent's house to play games, but game night has been cancelled for the past two weeks due to illness. We're playing a game using the rules of the Mountain Witch. Our setting is Europe, 1910, and our Ronin are actually vaudeville/circus/freak show performers, whatever you want to call us. And we have supernatural powers. There's the impervious to pain man, who is really a kind-hearted softy, the geek with refined taste, the tattooed gentleman who is also a werewolf, and the shape-shifting contortionist. No I'm not the tattooed gentleman. I'm the shape-shifting contortionist. While on this unexpected hiatus, I've had a chance to think about my character.

I can't say much about this character's motives because I'll give too much away while we're in the thick of the action. I can say that Mary Jackson, aka Parvati the Elastic Woman, is a mean little thing. In the Mountain Witch, each player chooses a Japanese zodiac for her character. I chose the Tiger:
TIGER (Tora)
Though stubborn, hot-headed, selfish and slightly mean, Tigers are also courageous and tend to be deep thinkers capable of great sensitivity and sympathy for those they are close to and love.
Allies: Dog [Impervious to Pain Man] & Horse
Enemies: Monkey.
I think she's not as mean as we've seen, but we've not had a chance to see whether she really loves any of her comrades. Hopefully she'll prove to be loyal when appropriate. Little Mary (and I say little because I imagine her to be quite young, no older than 25, with the typical stunted gymnast's body) did kill someone who tried to kill the tattooed gentleman. She shot him point blank in the back of the head without comment or emotion. Then she threw his body off the train, and contemplated just going back to sleep. That's pretty mean. And while she may have had ulterior motives, she did hold vigil over the injured comrade while he convalesced. I can't see her putting any cold compresses on foreheads. If he had been more lucid, I imagine she would have played shape shifting pranks on him just to be mean and for sport.

But.... She's the only woman in the group, and probably the youngest. And surely there was a reason she, of all the petty identity thieves in the world who could do the job, was chosen to kill the Kaiser. Given her sketchy background, being a young girl in a troupe of travelling entertainers, she's a product of her environment. Maybe the source of some of her meanness is self preservation. I think much of it is just who she is.

Mean as she is, I like this character. Bad guys are fun, but characters whose goodness and badness is ambiguous (or dependent on what side you're on) is more fun.

I'm not a mean person, at least I don't think so. Grumpy at times, yes. A frustrated parent, most certainly. Not always adhering to the rules of fair arguments, yes. Mean? I can only think of a couple of deliberately mean things I've done in my adult life. I'm sure I did mean things as a kid here and there, but they don't count for the purposes of this exercise. I never called anyone by a generalizing slur, and I only dragged that fifth grade boy across the baseball field because he picked on me and needed to be taught a lesson. (I was in 6th grade)

Okay, so have you ever been mean, and by "mean" I mean deliberately hurtful or cruel, for the fun of it, for revenge, or because you were going through a phase of being an asshole? Saying or doing something in the heat of the moment, if you regret it later, (unless it's many months or years later), does not count.
Cruelties like lack of follow-through, never calling back, etc. don't count if they were due to general laziness or spaciness.
Anything done before age 12 doesn't count unless it's really heinous (like burning a cross in someone's yard).
Killing bugs doesn't count, even if you ate them, unless you were an adult and you sought out the bugs for the sole purpose of killing them.
Killing vertebrates totally counts no matter your age, especially if you didn't eat them.
Anything done under the influence of drugs, alcohol, religion, or sociopathic charismatic leader-types totally counts.

Here's one thing I can think of. There are acts committed in my Shizuka years (ages 19-22, thrived on being unhappy) that I'm not quite ready to confess, but give me a few days. I'll put them in the comments part. They do not involve babies.

Mean thing #1. I was 22 and smarting from a broken heart. The source of the heartbreak asked me to pierce the cartilage of his ear with a 14 gauge lancet. I did it very carefully and very slowly. Afterwards he told me it was one of the most painful things he'd ever felt. So we were then even. We're friends to this day. Friend in question: do you remember that? I'm sorry!

What would Mary look like? Take a wild guess!

Parthenia is Pregnant...

with Ideas...

I see a theme rising. Even my frogs in their tank behind me are croaking their mating calls again.

Last summer, my friends Crystal, Tonya, and I operated a booth at the Greenfield Farmer's Market most appropriately called "Three Dreaded Ladies". Sadly Tonya dropped out midway, but Crystal, her business partner Julie, and I continued for the rest of the season. Tonya made jewelery, I do herbal products for hair and skin, Crystal, at the time, made cloth diapers and an occasional mei tai traditional Asian baby carrier. Julie and Crystal have parted ways and Crystal will be selling handmade clothes. I'm not sure if Julie will continue on as our one not-literally-dreaded lady, but they diapers would round out our booth nicely.

On top of all the other making stuff and idea generating (i.e. game writing), I'm revisioning my part ("Parthenia's Herbals") of Three Dreaded Ladies. I plan to focus bar soaps first, then bath salts, healing salves, balms, and herb infused oils (hair oil, massage oil, bug repellent). I will prepare fewer brewed herbals like aftershaves, skin toners, and hair rinses. Those are my favorites, but they don't sell very well. I will certainly have edible love potions, as those generate the most praise and positive feedback, and they make most everyone happy.

I've been thinking about offering other edibles like kefir and kombucha, but that would require a Board of Health permit. I could join the Western Mass Food Processing Center and move all of my brewing, mixing, cooking, and curing activities there. The advantages are I would have more room, better equipment, and a safer place to make soap and heat up oils. If I do soap at home in the kitchen, I need someone to keep an eye on the kids because I'm working with hazardous materials and can't stop in the middle of mixing or pouring to take care of boo-boos and arguments. The disadvantages are purely financial. Basically the farmers market last year paid for my herb preparing hobby and my Thai food habit, and that was fine with me. I'd like to expand this year. Kombucha and kefir are incredibly easy and cheap to make, bottling and labelling would really be my biggest expense. If they caught on and sold well they could cover the added expense of being a member of the Food Processing Center. Since there's already one local Kombucha producer, I would most likely do more kefir and herb drinks, and try to find a source for local milk. That's not hard at all. You can also put kefir grains into grape juice and make an interesting sparkling beverage. That could be fun, too.

The week after Ingrid's birthday I'll make the first batch of soap. If any of you local reader wish to learn how to make soap, I will show you how. The cost to you is your labor. In the next few weeks I'll also have spare kombucha babies and kefir grains. And I'm always looking for human guinea pigs to try my herbals. Email me and let me know what you're interested in. And the revised rules for Get/Steal Away Jordan should be done by the end of this week. I was so productive last night that I fell asleep at 3 am, sitting up with the laptop on my lap. Before I dozed off, I managed to type up everything I had handwritten earlier in the week, and simplify the rules and mechanics. Another self-awarded gold star for Parthenia (who is most certainly not physically pregnant)!

Stone Babies

This is from William Buck's translation/interpretation of the Mahabharata:
"Dhritarashtra lost his sorrow in Gandhari's love, as a river is lost in the sea. She became pregnant by Dhritarashtra, but a full year passed by without her giving birth, and longer, until Dhritarashtra sent for Vyasa in dismay.

"Vyasa came to the king and said, 'Gandhari carries one hundred sons. She will give birth at the end of two years. Be patient and know that there is no danger to her, and I will return when it is time.'

"Vyasa then spoke with Bhishma, so that when Gandhari gave birth there were a hundred bronze jars filled with clear butter, ready and hidden in the palace garden. From her womb came a hard ball of flesh that Vyasa took from her and washed in cool water.
"'Here are your hundred sons,' he told Gandhari, 'but there is more to do before they are formed.'

"Vyasa divided that ball of flesh into pieces. As he worked in the garden, Bhishma put each piece into a jar and sealed it. At the end there was an extra piece. Bhishma brought another jar and Vyasa said, 'There are now one hundred sons and one daughter. See that the jars are not opened for two more years; then they will be born.'"

Warning: not for the faint of heart, or for people who don't like to read about fetal abnormalities used as plot devices. I had a hard time finding an accompanying picture that wouldn't completely turn people off.

The word of the day is Lithopedion. I found out about them at the Human Marvels website under "Pickled punks." No this isn't going to be a happy post, but you were warned.
Last night I described the lithopedions to my fellow gamers, after we played our game for the night. It's always fun to share the freaky and strange things you learn about on the internet. Emily said, "It's like the baby you found in your attic."
"There are no babies in my attic, what are you talking about?" I said.
In Shizuka's attic, she meant. Oh yeah. There are no babies in my attic. What are you talking about?

Stone Babies are character and plot device jewels. They're like trichobezoars. Creepy and freaky, they require pathological behavior from the character. In order to create a stone baby, you need a fetus to die in utero, and a mother to neglect or forget or otherwise ignore the fact that labor comes to no fruition or labor never comes. Then the fetus ossifies, calcifies, undected for years before the mother begins to feel discomfort or pain.

Gandhari's seed born children, (stone baby cousins?), the Kaurava, were the antagonists of the Pandavas in Mahabharata. The first born, Duryodhana, is an avatar (incarnation) of the demon Kali (not the goddess).

Anyway, I had no idea what a Lithopedion was until Tuesday night, but I've read Williams Buck's version of The Mahabharata about four times, and parts of the whole poem (translated into English) when I was in college. I love it when things click subconsciously like that.

Here are my two bad haiku about Stone Babies:

Lithopedion
Conceived, forgotten, dead child.
Now we are both old.

You died in my womb
I forgot to give you birth
Now you're a stone child.

Another Mahabharata translation.
Much better Haiku
More Anatomical/Physical Items of Note