17 January 2007

The Place God Calls You To...

"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." Frederick Buechner

I found that quote at a forum for aspiring midwives. What proceeds is a paraphrased conversation I had in my head while walking around Greenfield doing errands at lunch time.

God does not call me to my present job.
God calls me home to my children, husband, and pets. To the endless dishes and cleaning that I never catch up on.
God does not call me to church, and I'm finally okay with that. But sometimes She does call me to church. I thought She was calling me to other churches, but really, She just said, "take a break. I'm not there anyway."
I have to ask myself sincerely, is She calling me to midwifery? I believe I'd find deep gladness in the work. But if you want a homebirth, Western Massachusetts is the place to be. There are plenty of midwives around here. Does the world hunger for Julia [Parthenia] the midwife? Maybe. I don't know. I think the problem is that if God is calling me to this vocation, I wish She'd make that call apparent to the Doubting Thomases in my life, who seem to talk louder than She does when it comes to money and comfort. I guess I'm asking too much of God, and I guess there's a reason She didn't call me to become a doctor... Can't say I ever wanted to be a doctor...

Did you see that? I think I just tried to talk myself out of studying midwifery with the excuse that God didn't call me loud enough. Not all who wander are lost, but some of us are and we're too stubborn to admit it, so we pretend were taking the scenic route.

Next time we'll see what the Devil calls me to.

I wrote several pages on creating characters fresh from the slave ship for my game. I'm giving myself a gold star. I think I need a gold star today. I'm feeling a little like flotsam.

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