05 April 2009

Say it like you mean it!

I love and hate when this happens. I had a really disturbing dream the other night. In short, I dreamed that a bunch of people seemingly forced their way into my house, although my door was always unlocked. A couple time I tried to lock the door, but people kept coming in. The weren't really doing anything other than walking around the living room. They weren't terribly friendly. I was frightened and defensive at first, and then I asked them all to remove their shoes and coats, and put them at the front door. The I asked them to sit down, and I asked them to tell me their names.

In the past week, pieces of the dream have turned up in my waking life. Not that people just came into my house uninvited, but the whole range of feeling that I had in the dream. First, a total stranger extended a stunningly sincere hand of fraternity. Then one of my patients answered a question before I asked it, and extended a sincere hand of fraternity. And three times, my heart found a clear voice and spoke out. Loudly. In the first instance I realized that I needed something intangible, and needed someone to help me get it. In the second, I asked for it, and received it within hours. In the third, I let go of some anger and pride, and I found a long neglected wound where they once sat. This has otherwise been a craptastic week, and at first I didn't notice the emotional parallels with the dream. Yeah, that's all vague, it's probably impossible to see the parallels, but they're there.

Best of all, it's okay, or at the very least, it will be soon, and I believe that now.

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