The Primitive Orgy Oracle

The revised edition of Steal Away Jordan is available to pre-order until Wednesday, January 23. I will have a limited number of copies at Dreamation. Visit Stone Baby Games for more information.

So what's that have to do The Primitive Orgy Oracle? Nothing. I'm just combining 2 posts, and "The Primitive Orgy Oracle" has a nice ring to it. Tonight I started working on the Primitive Orgy Oracle for In a Wicked Age. Meg and Vincent came over and we took turns going through the book and picking out phrases. Here are a few of my favorites:

A cordon of scowling, livid faces, reeking with musk, watching through wildly bulging bloodshot eyes.

The 37 1/2 part of a woman’s 38-22-37 1/2 chassis.

A huge giant, at least 6’ 6”, with big grasping toes like a gorilla’s fingers, messing around with an MG.

The will of the great Obeah Damballa papaloi.

The voice of Jamaica Jane, hypnotic, hollow, and devoid of emotion.

So what's Primitive Orgy? It's a pulp novel by Big Bob Tralins, author of Torrid Island. I bought the book when I was in high school and brought it home when I was visiting my parents back in October. The book is exactly what you'd expect. Busty women, magical negroes, macho men, human sacrifices, ritual orgies, Voodoo. It is excellent source material for an oracle if you want to plat In a Wicked Age, ca. 1961, which, despite the painful stereotypes and silliness, I find inexplicably appealing. Stay tuned!

In Search of...Baby Bees

I've never been a fan of cheesecake. I have a wicked sweet tooth, but cheesecake love has always alluded me. At Christmas, my parents sent my in-laws a cheesecake from Juniors in New York. Apparently, my parents have fond memories of going to Juniors with my aunt who lived in Brooklyn, and feasting on cheesecake. I remember things a little differently. I remember someone in the group saying "let's go to Junior's", others would chime in their affirmations, and I would quietly dissent, outnumbered. Then we'd get to Junior's and everyone would order cheesecake, and I'd search the menu for something else. I hated cheesecake. I hated going to Junior's. I grew up disliking raw tomatoes and mushrooms as well, and now I can tolerate them. Similarly, I can tolerate cheesecake, but I'd never order it off a menu.

Chris and Vincent heard about my anti-cheesecake stance. Chris never knew this about me. He was shocked. Vincent took it upon himself to educate me on the joys of cheesecake. He makes a mean cheesecake. Now I can say I like cheesecake if Vincent Baker makes it. I suppose that's progress.

While chatting at dinner the night of my cheesecake education, the subject, of course turned to the strange things we've eaten or would like to eat. If you recall last year about this time, we ate deep fried waterbugs. I was not terribly successful at this, but I did try. Anyway, Vincent mentioned that he'd heard that the best bugs to eat are bee larvae because they're so sweet. The gustatory wheels in my head have been churning since. I'm on the hunt for bee larvae to fry up in my wok. In my search I found a blog of another adventurous eater: Weird Meat. I'm even more inspired. Audience assistance in my quest to find baby bees is warmly appreciated.

We talked about eating other odd things like bear, elk, big game meat. It might be easier to find a source for those than for baby bees. We'll see.

Bee Larvae Leads
Edible Insects
China Bees. Where's a "buy it now" button?
From the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations' Corporate Document Repository, Chapter 8 of "Value Added Products from Bee Keeping". Includes recipes!

RPG Couples Compatibility

I apologize in advance for the inside joke-ness of this post. It might not make that much sense if you weren't privy to the characters in question's games. Then again, it really doesn't make much sense in the wider scheme of things.

At the llewellyn website, there's a romantic compatibility test. All you do is enter your name and your lover's name, and you get an insightful and in depth randomly generated assessment of your relationship.

So naturally I tried Chris and me first, and then again. I got two different answers, and of course the response was vague enough that both of them worked. So I figured that if it worked so well on a real couple, I bet it would work on imaginary ones like role playing game character dyads.

First I used my favorite and painfully dysfunctional dyad, Shizuka and Tai from our Sorcerer game last year. First I just entered "Shizuka" and "Tai". Then I remembered that Shizuka had a last name, so I did it again with her last name. I didn't think Tai had a last name. Maybe he a long descriptive name, but I assume in his endeavor to be a 21st Century demon he just went by Taietsu. I doubt last names ever really came up as an issue for either of them. Anyway, I got two different assessments. The second one was more fitting. Eerily and hilariously fitting. I've bolded the parts that really fit.

Shizuka and Tai:

Vibration No 9:
You are a very peculiar couple. If you really manage to get along, your couple will serve you to learn to grow both as individuals and as members of a society. When you are together, you tend to identify with each other and vibrate with a similar behavior. You are very emotional, moody, sensitive and affectionate. Both of you love good food, as well as order and comfort wherever you choose to live. Both tend to be faithful, but each one needs to retain their individuality as a person and take their place within society. Above all, you need the other person to show their affection.
At a sexual level, both need motivation from the other, otherwise, you may become introverted or harbor negative feelings.
In general, relationships with this vibration are made up of two people who have got together after many losses at the emotional level and that’s why it is important that you provide the other with the security they need. It is important that you take up some activity together, like dancing, or a sport.

So I discovered that this random generator of a romantic compatibility test works best when you include the last name. So I tried my best to include the last names.

Couple number 2 was Molly Fawcett and Elizabeth Rutherford from Primetime Adventures. I suppose I should have also tried Molly Fawcett and Benjamin Smith, but that would have been overkill. Besides, once again, the test was dead on accurate.

Molly and Elizabeth

Vibration No 2
A very intense relationship from scratch, although for this same reason, emotions can take over all too easily.
You can both get easily discouraged and keep fearing fights or misunderstandings, especially with respect to each other’s families. Sometimes, you act secretly and this creates a feeling of distrust on your partner. You fear minor problems and tend not to help each other when you are feeling down, which further confuses the situation. However, you will overlook your own needs or wishes for the sake of your partner.
The relationship is firy, affectionate, very sensitive and romantic. Still, you must not compete but rather try to understand your partner’s darkest feelings without criticism.
The relationship is positive as long as both of you support each other and try not to shed negative feelings.

The next couple I tested was from a Poison'd game, played at GenCon (adults only post). Despite their respective horribleness, I think Abyssinia de Cortez & James Doggett were rather compatible. So did the random generator compatibility test, even though James Doggett was not James Doggett's real name (at least I don't think it was), and I figured Abyssinia was a pet name given to her by Brimstone Jack. It still worked! Amazing!

Abyssinia de Cortez and James Doggett

Vibration No 8:
In this relationship, both partners call the floor and have too marked and structured a personality. You are both very demanding of the relationship. You may even wish to have everything already established, and this might generate conflicts or minor quarrels. After one of these, it can be the case that neither of you takes initiative for a reconciliation, for you tend to be too rancorous.
At the level of the deepest feelings, both of you need to be intimately understood, for you can easily feel the other’s rejection and become too susceptible. At critical times, for instance if one partner is undergoing health or financial problems, you will both react helpfully, and will be sympathetic enough to stand by the other. For this reason, you must be careful that neither assumes the role of “the victim” in the relationship, in order to be helped or taken care of constantly by the other.
You need to learn to renew yourselves permanently, without falling into stereotypes.

And finally, I tested the relationship that could never happen, Mary Jackson and Chintzer the Geek (more pseudonyms) from The Mountain Witch, Europe 1910. This one doesn't really match up, but they never really got together. We'll never really know how accurate it it here, although there is certainly some truth to it. I had forgotten that her real name was Elizabeth, too!

Mary and Chintzer

Vibration No 5:
Absolute magnetism. You know how to make decisions together and agree at all times. The energy in this relationship is too fast, spontaneous, impulsive and nervous to channel into a fluent and deep bond. Both partners need a lot of freedom and they love to go on adventures, that’s why they take life as it presents itself every day. For this same reason, they do not make long term projects, and it is this that allows them to keep the relationship fresh and renewed.
At a sexual level, the relationship is more sensual than sentimental. Your contacts are superficial. It is important that you learn to experience sex more intimately and more deeply, not just like a kind of sport or diversion.

Speaking of random generators, In a Wicked Age is available for preorder. Congratulations, Vincent!

And here's a random bit of news: over Christmas and New Year's break Ingrid has worked very hard on transitioning from using diapers to using the toilet. She's only wearing diapers at night now, and the accidents are few and far between. Congratulations, Ingrid!