I'd Hit That

So here are the top 25 keywords that bring people to Parthenia's Blog, according to Google Analytics. I've bolded my favorites, the ones I find more flattering or amusing.

1 and 2. steal away jordan and "steal away jordan"
3. naked sauna
4. tatooed women
5. blodpudding
6. japanese octopus tattoo
7. kombucha troubleshooting
8. people find it difficult to resist your persuasive manner [My favorite. It was a very appropriate fortune cookie message.]
9. how to make ginger kombucha
10. jacci gresham
11. kombucha hair
12. kombucha stomach ache
13. naked women in sauna
14. sauna naked
15. stone babies
16. "stone baby games"
17. ask me psychic
18. bead stuck in nose [Apparently we're not the only ones with a child who sticks beads in her nose.]
19. bead up nose
20. continuous brewing kombucha
21. i like it rough [WTF? I've never said any such thing. I like what rough? Sandpaper?]
22. kombucha addictive
23. kombucha continuous brewing
24. restringing autoharp
25. sauna blog

Some others further down the list include:
"hippie librarian look" (yeah, that's me), "kill your rapist", "see my bare breasts", phrases with "japanese tattoos" and the words "hannya mask" and "octopus", naked women big boobs, other phrases with "kombucha" in them.

Does this say anything about me? I'd like all these keyword hits to incidate somehow that I'm really a nice person with no hang-ups. But people don't do keyword searches for aspiring homebirth midwife, loving mother, wonderful wife, hippie chick with a young-looking face, or the best looking eyebrows in Western Massachusetts thanks to Brooks and Butterfield Day Spa. Kombucha is harmless enough, and I have no shame about my tattoos, except when it comes to telling my parents about them.

But what's up with all the "naked sauna", "naked woman", "naked woman with big boobs in the sauna" hits? I haven't been in a sauna in a few months, and when I go, it's in the women's gold locker room at the local YMCA. The YMCA for crying out loud! I spend much less time in the sauna than all those sauna-related hits would imply.

If you're looking for a cheap thrill you might find one here, but barring discussions of my affection for Bettie Page, my mild obsession with the Dream of the Fisherman's Wife, and my quest to cover my arms in tattoos there's nothing terribly titillating going on here.

That said, I'm going to start discussing most Steal Away Jordan items at Stone Baby Games. Stick around if you want to hear me talk about anything else. I haven't talked about autoharps in a while. I'm still crafting my GenCon 2007 story. There's plenty more to talk about.

I'm planning a sauna visit at the YMCA this week as I return to my workout regimen, which I neglected all summer. There will be nakedness, I guarantee.