Meme Me. Kiss Kiss.

I rarely blog these things, but I am today....

• Who’s the last person you laid next to? Mr. Ellingboe.
• Last person you had a phone conversation with? My mom.
• Someone tells you that your beautiful, you say...? "Thanks" and then get all awkward.
• Who was the last person you added to your contacts? A friend from high school.
• Is it possible to be JUST friends with someone you want to be with? Oh heck yes, but it takes a good sense of humor.
• Where is the person you last kissed? Sleeping in her bed.
• Do you wake up cranky? Yes.
• Sex ruins relationships, right? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
• Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, many times. I henna it now.
• Did you have a good birthday this year? It didn't go as planned, and I was rather sad about that, because we had nice plans, but that was almost a year ago. Moving on.
• Is there a person that will always have a place in your heart? Yes.
• Does crying actually make you feel better? Rarely.
• How many times has someone told you they were in love with you? Someone tells me all the time.
  
• Who was the last person you texted? Mom.
• Ever had a teacher that you wanted to punch in the face? No. I can't think of anyone I wanted to punch in the face for more than 10 minutes. Open handed smack in the face? That's a different story, but still no teachers.
• More attractive: kisses out of nowhere, or when you know? I don't understand. Depends on the kisser and the circumstances.
• Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? Cookies
• How many blankets do you sleep with? One. In winter it's winter weight, in summer it's summer weight, but I sometimes kick it off.
• If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? The last person I kissed was my daughter when I tucked her in. I think she'd want to be kissed some more. So maybe the situation of my last kiss ruins the implications of the question. And what's with all the kissing questions?
• Have you ever cried during a movie? Hells yes.
• Have you broken the law in the last 3 days? Yes.
• Are you drunk? Nope.
• Are you one of the people that never drinks soda? No I'm not "one of those people". I enjoy a midday Coke Zero from time to time.
• If you had one more chance to be with your ex would you take it? No, that horse is dead, and the flogger's been put to better use.
• What’s the last thing you ate? A pickle.
• Do you tan in the hot sun? Yes, but I wear sunscreen.
• Have you dated both sexes? Um...That's something better discussed off the internet.
  
• Did anything cute happen in the last week? Yes. Four 5 year olds, one 3 year old, and one 2 year old--all cousins and siblings, frolicked around my in-laws' house.
• Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008? Heavens yes, and heavens no!
• Are you satisfied with your life as of now? Yes, but I strive to improve what needs improving, because that's how life goes.
• Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No, but there are some things which could be said, but I'm the wrong person to say them.
• When was the last time you ate popcorn? Saturday last.
• How are you feeling? With my heart and head and hands.
• What was the first thing you did when you woke up today? Snuggled Mr. Ellingboe then woke him up.
• What are you doing this week? Working, having dinner with my dearest friend from college whom I haven't seen in a year, and not talked to nearly enough in recent months. We ran into each other on Friday on the street and said almost simultaneously, "We need to spend some time together." She lives about 45 minutes away.
• Have you had sex today? That's something I'd rather not discuss on the internet.
• Do you like falling asleep listening to rain? Yes.
• Do you have feelings for someone? I have a lot of love in my life.
• When was the last time you were laughing so hard you couldn’t breathe? Sunday?
• Have you ever took a picture of you and someone else kissing? I think I have. I took photography in college.
• Have you ever kissed under fireworks? Sure.
• Do you have any plans for tomorrow? Yes.
• Have you had any beer this week? I took a sip of Mr. E's, but I'm not a beer drinker.
  
• What are the color of your eyes? Chocolate brown.
• Is there a place that you wish you could visit? Just one?
• Who was the last person in your bed besides you? Husband, daughter and two cats.
• How was last night? Great!
• Are you currently frustrated with someone? Sadly, yes.
• Is it easier to forgive or forget? Forgive. But if you forget, you miss the lesson.
• Do you think anyone’s thinking about you right now? Yeah!
• So what if you married the last person you kissed? That would be illegal and wrong.
• Would you prefer a baby boy or girl? a child.
• Have you ever been called heartless? Yes, or something to that effect.
• Is there anyone who doesn’t like you? Where's the fun in everyone liking you?
• Who was the last person you knew to have a baby? I don't know!
• In one word, how do you feel right now? Like myself.
• Has anyone upset you in the last week? heaven's, yes.
• How would you feel if you found out you had been cheated on? Surprised.
• Have you ever kissed anyone with a tongue ring? Yeah... And I had one, too.
• Do you believe exes can be friends? I know they can be, and I know they can't be.
• Have you and a friend ever liked the same person? Oh dear, yes.
• Ever had a dream that you died? No.
• Is your heart hurting? Just a tiny bit. It'll pass.
• Are you having any online conversations, currently? I don't understand. Isn't this in some way having an online conversation?
• Are you single, taken, married, or none of the above? Taken? Yeah, I'm "taken" and married.
• Have you ever been punched by the opposite sex? Yes. We were 10.
• Your ex says they never even liked you, you say...? "You know that's a lie."
  
• Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them? Yes. I hate it.
• What’s on your mind? This meme?
• Do you like to always be right? Heck no! I've been right about things I didn't like being right about.
• Have you ever had an argument with a teacher? Yes.
• Would you rather change your past or know your future? There are a couple of things I'd change because I know better, now, but I'm okay with the reality that they happened.
  
• Do you ever think about stuff and start crying? Occasionally, yeah.
• What things do you wanna change? My nail polish.

Wedding Belles

Yesterday I went to my friends Christine and Hannah's wedding out in Kingston. It was a beautiful occasion. Lovely weather, fantastic food, the ceremony was touching, personal moving.

I first met Christine in college. We lived in the same house. I had just returned from a three year hiatus to finish my last two years, Christine (Christie, as I've always known her) was a senior. We hit it off immediately. Without getting into the particulars, (because they aren't relevant to the post, really), Christine went to bat for me and stood up for me when she saw that someone in a position of authority treated me unfairly. In short, she wrote a letter to Important-type people, and pointed out a wrong. I didn't know she had done this until a few years ago. I should have known, though. Christine is a fiercely loyal and loving friend.

Bea, Ingrid, Mr. E and I all attended the wedding. We sat at the table with a group of women that Christine befriended when she came out for the second time. We all joked that she has terrible taste in men, and as it's always best for one to be true to herself, we're happy and relieved she finally found her true love. As much as I hate the winters here, and the fact that New England isn't my first choice of a where I'd live, I love that in Massachusetts, two people who love each other can get married, even if they're the same gender. Bea and Ingrid didn't ask any confused questions about two women getting married. Ingrid loves weddings, because she gets to dress up, dance, play with flowers, and eat delicious food (I think once she drops the hula girl astronaut aspirations, she may well seek a career in professional party planning, culinary arts, fine food critique, etc.) I don't think she really noticed, at least not how I might have noticed when I was her age or Bea's age. Is it possible that marriage equality will be the norm for my kids? Insha'allah.

During the ceremony, the minister praised Christine and Hannah for their bravery and boldness that they would make their union so public. Massachusetts exists somewhat in an equality utopia that hasn't spread to the rest of the country, nor has it spread to all aspects of attributes that makes us humans unique and different. We're making progress, though. Homophobia still exists, even in the happy Valley and beyond its borders.

I wonder how many generations it will be before the minister can drop the bravery and boldness piece of the ceremony. Mr. E and I got married 31 years after the Supreme Court's landmark decision in the Loving v. Virginia case. We didn't feel particularly brave or bold for marrying people not of our race. On the other hand, while interracial marriage is more common racism is alive and doing very well, thanks for asking.

Putting on my optimist's smile and a cliche on my tongue. The best way to destroy hate is with love.

What's the second best? Being comfortable with our differences, and that means to acknowledge them. We aren't ready for colorblindness. We aren't ready to say, "it's no big deal that two men or two women can marry". It's a big deal, and not because it should be a big deal when anyone decides to marry. Being married is part of one's identity. I am a wife, mother, African American, person of faith, gamer, homeowner, woman. My identity depends on my own definition as well as my relationships with people.

I look forward to many visits with Christine and Hannah. I am so happy for them. What a privilege it is to be part of their loving circle of friends and family.

May Day!

Hi there! Long time no blog. I have much to catch up on, so here are some things you may read about in the weeks to come.

Mr. E and I went to Denmark. I was the guest of honor at Fastaval. I ran a larp that Emily Boss and I have been working on called What to Do About Tam Lin. We ran it on two previous occasions at Dreamation in February and Intercon in March. Fastaval was an amazing convention. I was honored (and somewhat overwhelmed my "how on earth did I get here" feeling) to be the guest of honor. I played some incredible games, and developed a taste for schnapps (I know, haraam...) and renewed my love for picked herring. Best of all, the hosts and attendees at Fastaval made Mr. E and me feel welcome and at home. I am saving up to go next year--or to Knutepunk next year. At some point I will write about my experiences in more detail, but here's a quick run down of what I played.
Epifani (wicked, disorienting fun!)
The Journey (my favorite!!!)
Behind Your Back
I ran Previous Occupants, which I first played at Dreamation.
The worst part of my Denmark trip was that US Customs seized my 6 packages of blodpudding (I know, haraam...).

I made a commitment to finish Tales of the Fisherman's Wife in 3 months, which means I purchased a new to me MacBook Pro, which means I will be writing more once the new laptop arrives. It's sooo close to being done.

I continue to love my job as a behavioral instructor. I was just promoted this weekend.

Rivers of kombucha flow in my continuous brewer. I have more SCOBY's than I know what to do with.

While I'm no longer doing Local Bias on GCTV, (working days prevent me from being at the studio on Thursday mornings), I will be working with Drew Hutchison on a show about the local gaming scene.

I'm on week 4 of Couch to 5k. Who knew I'd like running?! Not me!

My love/hate relationship with gardening continues to vacillate.

Hopefully, my new computer will get here before Friday and I will take it to Philadephia, where Ingrid, Bea and I will meet Dr. Bond for Mother's Day weekend. I'll start with those Fastaval write-ups in between the Fisherman's Wife work. In the mean time, happy spring!

Eid Mubarak!

Wow! Summer came and went without a single blog post. Actually, I spent very little time on the computer this summer (my new unlocked and jailbroken iPhone, well, that's a different story.) I'm back now, though. I think, for now.

I like my job much better than my old job. The work is difficult and stressful, but it's rewarding and interesting. I adore the kids I work with. They amaze and frustrate me every single day. I love working days, and working close to home. The parts I dislike are just parts I dislike.

I didn't go to GenCon, and didn't publish the final edition of Fisherman's Wife, and I'm okay with that. The final will come out at Dreamation in February (wouldn't it be cool if I got it done by Valentine's Day?). The fancy handmade decoupaged copies that I sold but didn't get to bind with ashcan contents will be bound with final contents. I hope they're worth the wait, but if you bought one at the last GenCon and need something to tide (tie? tithe?) you over shoot me an email and I'll send you a pdf of the ashcan.

My friend Ingrid Steblea is doing the cover art and a few other decorative elements, which makes me really excited! She designed our wedding invitations. We've been married for almost 11 years!

Today is Eid. I fasted during Ramadan this year, save a few days where a migraine knocked me flat followed by a nasty cold. I'll make them up next month. I got up this morning, dressed in my finest clothes (a beautiful embroidered and beaded kaftan from Saudi Arabia and a shimmery shayla from H & M) and went to the masjid. When I walked in, three sisters jumped up and embraced me with love and affection. I hadn't been in a while, and I did all my iftars at home. I didn't intend it to be, but this Ramadan was a bit isolating by my own design. I'm not sure why, but it won't happen next year. I want that warmth and sorority as much as possible!

I don't talk about my faith on this blog much anymore. I had a very quiet and unremarkable shift from Unitarian Universalism to Islam a while back. If anything, it felt like I just switched cell phone service. Same conversations on a different carrier (and now I'm learning that whole texting thing.). But it's days like today, or when I attended Jumah even after working Thursday night, when I walk into the mosque and see my sisters from all over the world, that the conversion (reversion? extroversion?) feels right and real. Maybe the change was unremarkable because I first attended a mosque when I was 16 and for 20 years I tried to go back. I knew I'd get there, it was only a matter of time before I put one foot in front of another and did it.

But if choosing religion is as mundane as choosing a telephone service, why do it? I could say that I was looking for better coverage, and be all punny, but, no. Here's one, for me, for my area, where I am in life, the reception is better. with Islam. Ha ha.

Joking aside, today is a wonderful day for Eid. After Eid prayers (and a wonderful khutbah on the ease of being Muslim), I went to the wedding of my dear friend Jeremy where I saw friends old and new, feasted on excellent food, and witnessed the union of two loving souls. Happiness and gratitude abound. Alhamdulilah!

Alhamdulillah!! Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah!

I have a new job. I start Monday. It's a nice change of pace, a step in a new direction, and I am really looking forward to where I will go. I'll be working within walking distance from home, during the day, and most day's I'll be off at 3:15.

I'm going to be working as an instructor in a local public school (Bea's old school actually, and what will be Ingrid's new school when she starts kindergarten next year), in their ABA program. Most of the kids I'll be working with are autistic and non-verbal. There will be 5 or more children, ages 3 to 9.

It's not the job I thought was my dream job, but it has some exciting opportunities. More training in ABA (which may lead me back to pursuing a Master's in Psychology), tiny commute, mom's hours, the joy of sleeping in my own bed 7 nights a week, and rewarding, challenging work.

I was unemployed a little more than two weeks. I haven't even received my unemployment benefit checks yet, and I see this job being a nice big fat step in the up direction.

That's a few alhamdulillahs right there.

Just as I was starting to settle into a routine of being a stay at home mom, I decided to devote some of that spare time to do volunteer stuff. I'm trying to organize a Food Not Bombs chapter in Greenfield. More to come with that.

Get your terms right!

I've had a post/essay brewing for months, and I may never actually get it finished, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I have a collection of face veils that I've worn only in the house and while LARPing. I'm all for covering my hair, but I'm not really moved to cover my face for modesty's sake, or for religious purposes. Ironically, in the essay that I can't seem to write, I wanted to talk about how my Vampire LARP character is actually moved to, but quite conflicted about face-veiling. Maybe it's a self-identity vampire thing. I digress.

Anyway, to each her own, and masha'Allah when a Muslimah chooses to wear the niqaab. Go back and read that sentence carefully, even if you don't know what "masha'Allah" means. Okay, did you get it, that word in italic? There is no compulsion in Islam. Says so in the Qu'ran, Chapter 2 (al-Baqarah), verse 256.

Did you hear that, Mr. Sarkozy, Taiban, et al. who want to decide for others what we do to express our faith?

Speaking of France, and their hijab-banning practices, if Sarkozy wants to ban the "burka", then sure, why not? It's not really an Islamic item of clothing. But if you look at the photo in the preceding link, the veiled sister is wearing a niqaab. So what the heck does Sarkozy want to ban? Methinks he means the face veil--the niqaab. Well, we have a problem then. Pixie at "I Love Hishma" just wrote a very compelling essay on said problem here. If you ban the niqaab, why not ban wearing crucifixes, bandanas, thigh high boots, long skirts, gas masks, surgical masks and scrubs in general, bathrobes, earmuffs...I apologize for taking that down a road of absurdity.

On the other hand, I, too, am left to wonder if Sarkozy intends to ban public nudity, too. I doubt it, (and I'm being mean and catty and snarky here), but I bet his wife would protest that. Some of us like to be naked in the privacy of our own homes, and reserve showing our bodies to people who really matter, and that's our choice. There's that word again. Is it a symptom of power-drunkeness that one must make decisions for others? That's a dumb question, isn't it?

A 30 year old song mystery solved (mostly)!

I was between 8 and 11 years old. My dance teacher Cindy lent me an album so I could choreograph a dance. I don't remember a single song on that album, save one. It was a group children's choir singing a haunting but joyful melody, and the children's voices sounded like little haunted but joyful mice. I didn't understand the lyrics (because come to find out today, they were in Greek). I was between 8 and 11 years old. I didn't have the foresight to write down the name of my favorite song, and the Internet didn't yet exist, and hence there was no need to search millions of resources with a few keystrokes, so really, why bother?

I've kicked myself for nearly 30 years because I had no way to find the album or the song, and I loved that song. The melody waxed and waned in my head for that whole time.

Today, I ate a croissant and drank Earl Grey in Mocha Maya's cafe in Shelburne Falls, occasionally paying attention to the interesting mix of songs playing. The out of the blue, that song, that melody of 30 years ago piped in on a piano's keys! At first I thought it was melodic coincidence, the melody is very traditional and has inspired many songs throughout the ages. So at first I thought it was just a fluke, kind of like how you can sing the words to any Emily Dickinson song to "The Yellow Rose of Texas". (Try this one, it's terribly fun and funny.)

It was the song!! The long lost song. I ran up to the woman at the counter and asked, "what was that song?" She led me to the computer. She had no idea. It was a random Pandora selection, but the information was still on the screen, and she wrote it down for me: "George Winston, Night Part Three: Minstrels."

I looked it up on my iPod Touch and found the liner notes to the album. "Night Part Three" was an adaptation of "St. Basil's Hymn", aka "The Kalanta of the New Year". I've since found several versions, none of which are the original mouse child chorus I heard all those years ago, and I have the chords, so I can pluck away at it on my autoharp.

So I guess the Internet just proved its worth.